The American Crisis

 RANDOM JACK POETRY HOUR: CANADA

 

The American Crisis

 

Mark Carney* and the Canadian nation

Have arrived at a critical crossroad

Like a runaway train approaching as station

They are asked to carry a heavy load

 

He must deal with the brute at the border

Who has neither a heart nor ears

Who isn’t concerned with the mass disorder

Caused by the ship that he steers

 

More than two hundred years of alliance

Shattered in the quick of an hour

Our friendship and trade were reliant

Now they’ve turned rotten and sour

 

They must find a way to appease him

Without becoming his pet

Any moment the wrath could seize him

And send us all into massive debt

 

Oh how I wish we could turn back time

To a place where we all got along

When the northern winds were calm and sublime

But that was only a dream in a song

 

* Canada’s new Prime Minister

 

Canadian Pride

 RANDOM JACK POETRY HOUR: CANADA

 

Canadian Pride

 

Our Canadian friends have won the day

With an assertion of Canadian pride

Once again they will show us a better way

More compassionate and more dignified

 

Our president gave them no respect

With constant threats of annexation

We wonder what he’ll think of next

That will arouse their indignation

 

The love well their independence

They do not wish to be consumed

They wonder where their friends went

With all these threats of doom and gloom

 

The Canadian Liberal Party rises

From the depths of obscuration

They chose the leader who was wisest

In defending the Canadian nation

 

Though the future is in question

Their proud nation will not fold

There will be no lame concessions

That are less than free and bold

 

(P.M. Mark Carney wins full term.)

Dear Citizens (of the World)

 RANDOM JACK POETRY HOUR: GLOBAL POLITICS

 

Dear Citizens (An Apology)

 

Dear citizens of Ukraine

We’re sorry about our president

All out efforts were in vain

To change the message that he sent

He doesn’t care about your nation

We tell you this in confidence

He only wants your resources

What he said is what he meant

 

Dear citizens of Canada

We’re so sorry about our leader

He’s a man who has no principles

He’s a winter without a heater

When he threatens to annex you

He does not speak for us

We’ll do our best to stop him

In him we do not trust

 

Dear citizens of Greenland

We’re sorry about his threats

We should have known beforehand

We’re forever in your debt

We know that land is your land

There is no tete-a-tete

If you like the Danish brand

The map has long been set

 

Dear citizens of the free world

All around this twirling sphere

He has no love for freedom

It is power he holds dear

We are sorry for his ignorance

He would like to reign in fear

We’ll stand with the resistance

When the tipping point draws near

This is Not a Drill

 RANDOM JACK POETRY HOUR: AMERICAN POLITICS

 

Not a Drill (Ode to Canada)

 

Sound the alarm

This is not a drill

We’re sworn to do no harm

Yet we feel a sudden chill

 

Our neighbor is our friend

We’ve never had a better

Our money we would lend

Followed strictly by the letter

 

Now everything has changed

We’ve threatened them with debt

Our friendship is estranged

It’s as if we’ve never met

 

Take heed while you can

For this is not a drill

Our leader wants your land

He has the power and the will

 

He will take it if you let him

He expects you to defer

If you’re afraid you will upset him

Do not let his threat deter

 

Time to stand and fight back

Time to summon all your friends

Do not waver, stay on track

Do not fold or bend

 

This is not a drill

It is a call to arms

Summon all your will

Sound the alarm

Canada Strikes Back

 RANDOM JACK POETRY HOUR: TRADE WARS

 

Canada Strikes Back

 

Our president has made it clear

Our neighbors are our adversaries

It’s Vladimir Putin he holds dear

The entire free world is wary

 

As he wages war on our good neighbors

He thinks they have no cards to play

All our allies are out of favor

He thinks there is no price to pay

 

But that which burns goes both ways

The markets are heading down

We’re not the only ones who play

What comes will go around

 

The same for all our former friends

When hit they will strike back

Our balanced trade is at an end

For resolve they do not lack

 

So if we want to play that game

We’ll find that all will lose

To you that fouled belongs the blame

We all must pay our dues

 

(Trudeau announces counter measures

to US tariffs.)

 

Canadian Pride (Trade War)

 RANDOM JACK POETRY HOUR: CANADA

Canadian Pride

 

We’re sorry about our leader

He doesn’t care that we’re allied

He is the great deceiver

He’s aroused Canadian pride

 

No one wins a trade war

The harm is system wide

We’ve opened up a nasty door

We’ve hurt Canadian pride

 

Who knows if he’ll relent

He’s more stubborn that a mule

His sense of fairness bent

He would rather play the fool

 

Than admit that he was wrong

To consider another side

He’ll sing that Maga song

He’s aroused Canadian pride

 

We’re stuck for four more years

Four years on this wild ride

This is not the worst we fear

We praise Canadian pride