Sunday, August 17, 2008

Mind of Mansel: McCain Top Ten

The John McCain Top 10

1. It is said that McCain has begun refusing meat in order to sharpen his teeth.
2. John McCain never sodomized a rubber chicken dinner he didn't like.
3. When it comes to medication on the campaign trail John McCain sets his sights on pharmaceutical cocaine and human growth hormone.
4. John McCain is banned from Howard Johnson for urinating polling results onto linen napkins.
5. In Chicago recently John McCain appeared in a publicity photo dressed as a cheerleader with a gland condition.
6. John McCain believes a bungled execution is a good execution.
7. McCain thought a guillotine was a new hybrid.
8. Once during a game of billiards John McCain was heard to shout, "Chalk it, like they do in Saigon!"
9. When asked if he would pardon any African-Americans when in office McCain replied why has Obama committed a crime?
10. Lynne Cheney's new book is called, Laura: The Prostrate Years.

- Chris Mansel