Circling the Democratic Convention center in Denver, Colorado in an unmarked Chevy van is John McCain. With no other people with him, his short little arms making wide turns at intersections, spitting out the window and listening to an audiobook of Mein Kampf read by Tom Selleck, he thinks of ways to combat the enthusiasm that Obama has brought to his campaign. Suddenly the van blows a tire and McCain is on foot. A young man picks him up but the young man does not recognize the older man in the BYOB baseball hat.
McCain ends up at a dormitory in Utah reading the Koran with a mixed up youth who has been hoarding AAA batteries for a bomb to blow all the hair off his snoring roommate. Whenever McCain tries to get up to leave, the young man waves a G.I. Joe at McCain and quotes from the Koran in a low voice.
A quick call to Lieberman could end it all but who will his running mate be?
- Chris Mansel