APOLOGY TO IKE (& Gonzo)

By Jack Random

It has been brought to my attention that it was Truman and not Eisenhower who made the decision to drop the big ones on Nagasaki and Hiroshima as I stated in a recent chronicle (Defending Dick Nixon). To be falsely accused of unleashing the horror of the millennia on an unsuspecting world, even fifty years after the fact, is simply inexcusable.

I feel like Hunter Thompson on a desolate highway somewhere in the Amargosa Desert. The highway patrol with its swirling red light and screaming siren is bearing down in the rear view mirror. I go through a checklist of must do activities in this circumstance: Hide incriminating evidence, assume a posture of calm sincerity and polite respect, license and registration, straighten the shades, take a breath. The officer pulls over, steps out of his patrol car and approaches, one hand on his pistol.

“Name?” he asks as I hand over the documents.

“Crap!” I reply. It is the one question for which I am not prepared.

As one who is profoundly appreciative of historical ironies, it is irony upon irony that I should forget that arguably the most important decision in history to date was made by a man who assumed the presidency only months before decision time. Roosevelt died and Truman stood in for the end of the war and the beginning of the Cold War era.

My personal theory is that the chemicals in our water supply and the trails that are being used to create artificial cloud covers are affecting the channels of my brain, leaving gaps and holes that may trigger a jump in the continuum of my knowledge at any given time. I am fearful that the mass consciousness is similarly afflicted. I am fearful that our senses are being dulled and our ability to see through the distractions, decoys and deceptions is being impaired.

If my theory is correct, the reader may begin to see an increase in the usual errors gradually glossed over while the underlying analytical process is increasingly diseased. You may find the chronicles defending international monetary policy and the occupation of Iraq. You may find the Jazzman attacking the liberal press and the radical fringe. You may find Random referring to himself in third person and advocating a constitutional amendment to enable a canonized president to serve a third and fourth term. Who needs an Arnold when you can have another round of Bush? Sin of all sins, you may find me defending the two party system as if it was enshrined in the constitution.

If these things come to pass, you will know my disease has progress too far. You have my permission in advance to put me out of my misery.

Jazz.

JACK RANDOM IS THE AUTHOR OF THE JAZZMAN CRONICLES (CROW DOG PRESS) AND GHOST DANCE INSURRECTION (DRY BONES PRESS). HIS CHRONICLES APPEAR ON THE ALBION MONITOR, BUZZLE.COM, COUNTERPUNCH, DISSIDENT VOICE & OTHER SITES. SEE JACKRANDOM.COM. See Defending Dick Nixon on Albion Monitor (www.monitor.com).