Sunday, April 07, 2019

HOMELESS IN A LAND OF PLENTY: PART 4.

 




Chain of Misfortune

HOMELESS IN A LAND OF PLENTY

PART 4:  BILLY

By Jack Random



[According to the National Alliance to End Homelessness, the leading causes of homelessness are:  a lack of affordable housing, job loss, pervasive poverty, mental illness, substance abuse and inadequate services.  This is the fourth and final part of Homeless in a Land of Plenty.] 



BILLY


He wasn’t born an ass.  He had to work on it.  No, it was a family affair.  It takes a village.  He came from a long line of bullies, jerks and fuck-ups.  No one in the Barr family could hold a job for more than six months.  They had construction skills, fix-it and automotive skills but they were asses.  No one could stand to be around them for long and they couldn’t stand to take orders from anyone.  
Billy was working on a personal record at just over three months as a mechanic at the local cannery.  He made a couple of friends he drank a beer or two with after his shift.  He got along with his boss reasonably well.  The guy left him pretty much alone as long as he did his job and he did.  His drinking was under control.  He had a shot of whiskey with his coffee in the morning and that was it until after work.  For once in his sorry life things were looking up. 
His problem was he needed a woman.  There just weren’t many in his circle.  The women who came around the bars he went to weren’t the kind you developed a relationship with.  They were one-night only adventures.  Billy didn’t mind that but he really wanted something more. 
When he met Alice he thought she was special.  He liked her.  He wanted to spend time with her, talk with her, get to know her and go out like normal people.  She had a way about her.  She looked into his eyes like she knew who he was, like she was willing to know, like she was willing to try.  But before he left the bar one of his buddies pulled him aside.
“I know that skank,” he said. 
“Fuck you,” replied Billy.  He was in no mood for this shit.  His mind was set.  He was taking her home. 
“No, man, I know her.  I used to hang out at this place on the west side.  She was a regular.  She’s a skank, man.  She’s a fucking addict.” 
Billy stood there with his mouth open.  He could tell his buddy was as serious as a three-car pile-up.  This was no bullshit. 
“Okay, man.  Thanks for that.” 
Everything changed at that point.  He was surprised Alice even got in the car with him.  He felt like breaking her in two.  He was madder at himself than he was at her though.  How stupid could he be?  If he stopped to think, he could be pretty fucking stupid.  He knew that.  The problem was he allowed himself to get his hopes up.  He allowed himself to believe that a good woman could fall for him. 
“Stupid is as stupid walks,” his father used to say.  Billy had a hard time with that saying.  To him it was just stupid.  His father treated his mother like shit.  Why she stayed around he could never figure out.  Now he figured he was a lot like his father.  After years of working to prove he was somebody else, he saw himself walking in his father’s shoes.  He hated his father.  So now he hated himself. 
He didn’t mean for Alice to tumble over in the street.  It was the rage.  The same rage for which the males of his family were infamous.  It built up and exploded like a whistling teapot.  When it boiled over there was nothing anyone could do.  He stepped on the gas and watched her tumble and lose consciousness as she lay quivering in the street.  It felt like it was happening to someone else.  He felt bad but not bad enough to take responsibility and not bad enough to do anything.  He didn’t call 911.  He didn’t do a goddamned thing. 
The next day he skipped work and started drinking early.  He was pretty drunk when two cops came to his door in the early afternoon.  He hesitated to answer the door but his car was out front and he couldn’t think straight. 
“Are you William Barr?” 
“Yes, sir.”
His speech was slurred and his eyes bounced from side to side like a man with something to hide.  The cop speaking to him was a woman.  That surprised him.  The male cop stood behind her and tried to get a glimpse of the room. 
“Can we come in?” 
Again he hesitated.  If he had any options they didn’t come to him.  Did they know what he’d done?  Had someone seen what happened?  No way.  The cops didn’t care about some skank whore with a story. 
“Sure, officers.” 
When he turned around he realized the mess he’d created in the course of twenty-four hours.  There were pizza boxes and cookie packages and assorted trash everywhere you looked.  If they could arrest him for being a pig he laid the groundwork. 
“I’m sorry it’s such a mess.” 
“No problem,” said the woman.  “Sometimes we get distracted.  We forget to clean the house up.  It happens.” 
“Yeah.” 
He sat on the couch while the cops remained standing. 
“What’s up?” he asked them. 
“Where were you Wednesday evening between six and seven?” 
“Six and seven?” he repeated.  He hadn’t figured out a story.  It didn’t occur to him that he would have to account for his time. 
“That’s right, sir.” 
“Uhm, yeah, I was at O’Brien’s down on Seventh Street.” 
“Is that your story?” the woman cop asked. 
He didn’t know what to say.  He felt his face go flush.  He could never play poker.  People could read him like a cereal box. 
“What’s this about?” he finally sputtered. 
The male cop finally weighed in.  “It’s about a woman who ended up in the hospital because some jerk decided to floor it when she stepped out of the vehicle.  You like hurting women, Billy?  Is that what gets you off?” 
Cameras, Billy thought.  There must have been a camera.  How else would they know?  Still, he decided to play dumb.  “Admit nothing,” his father always said. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
“We have it on video,” the woman cop said.  “That motel has a problem with drug dealers so they set up cameras.  They caught the whole thing.” 
He could feel the sweat emerging from his pores, welling on his forehead, revealing the truth of his guilt and shame. 
“It was an accident,” he said. 
“Sure it was, Billy.  Sure it was.  Look, we don’t want to drag your ass down to the station.  We don’t want to book you and throw you in jail.  It’s your lucky day.  We just want you to take responsibility.  We have an agreement drawn up.  You admit no wrong but you agree to pay the woman’s medical bills.  How does that sound?” 
So he was right.  The cops didn’t care.  But the hospital wanted someone to pay.  They had their insurance guy check it out.  Billy shook his head and signed the papers.  In the end he really had no choice.  He could hire a lawyer and go to trial and he’d probably end up doing the same damn thing. 
He skipped another day of work and another day after that.  When he finally showed up they told him he was fired.  They didn’t want his kind around.  Sure.  Who did?  He was pretending to be someone he wasn’t.  When the mask came off he was gone. 
Then the hospital bill came in.  Two thousand for the ambulance alone.  The total came to over five grand.  He was already in debt and behind on the rent.  He maxed his credit cards and destroyed his credit.  No one would give him the time no less a loan.  He was down and out.  He decided his best course of action was to sell everything he could for cash and take off.  He sold his appliances, his TV, his sound system and everything else dime to a dollar. 
Before he could get away clean the repo man got his car and the utility company turned off his power.  He spent what little cash he raised for three days at a cheap motel, a lot of booze and some drugs to ease his pain.  He was done.  They kicked him out.  He was out on the street without a pot to piss in.  He was homeless. 
A homeless brother took pity on him and told him to go down to the bridge.  At least he’d have a place to lay his weary head. 

The bridge people didn’t care who he was or what he’d done to get there.  Most if not all of them had their own ghosts.  After a few days he knew everyone at the camp.  He apologized to Alice, who shook her head and told him she had her own apologies to give.  She told him about Gary who told about Louise.  Louise apologized to everyone.  That’s the way she was.  They were all equal under the bridge and their lives turned over.  The past was buried and the future was a blur.  All that remained was the moment.  Survival was a full time gig.  

Copyright 2019 Ray Miller

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