Friday, October 26, 2007

Buckets of Blood: Politics (the Old Fashion Way)

(The Mind of Mansel)

Two fisted anal implants on a Washington D.C. scale, adjusting the level of discourse by kicking the glass out of a USA Today machine and cutting the multi-colored graphs out of the paper and inserting them violently into the mouths of Washington staffers and watching as they swerve very fast down the marble steps of the House of Representatives as CNN cameramen film it for their own private home porn.

Buying heroin for cameramen in Washington will get you footage that will bend your hair back into your ear canal. My partner Jack Random and I hadn't been to Washington in a while but it was on this trip that we found that one bit of footage that would almost start a revolution in the United States of America, almost.

Stakeout a coffee house in Washington D.C. and you'll catch some go-getters, some lackeys, some wannabe's and some insiders who just may have the answers to those questions you have the theory to but have learned that if they talk they will indeed be killed or ruined on a medical level.

Footage, any footage of any politician committing any violent sex act in leather, fish guts or wrapped in moldy copies of the Washington Post will get you unlimited means of cash. We got a message from the doorman of a famous Washington Hotel bartender that a video of Karen Hughes, the spinster and Death’s head brick chunking mistress of the more right of the right wing of the Republican Party was on tape, dispensing entire cans of mixed fruit at young Mexican boys while Minutemen in the background on the Arizona border watched in awe and sat naked loading and unloading foreign manufactured weapons just like so many scenes in the A Team series that was so popular in the 1980’s. We had to get the tape and we set out with a suitcase full of drugs, banned toys from China to grease the more conservative lobbyists, and hard drives full of leaked CIA papers on the four major networks coverage of the current presidential campaign.

- Chris Mansel


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